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Well, At Least Peter Farrelly Didn’t Flash His Dick At Everyone Last Night, So There’s That

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Julia Roberts presented the Best Picture Oscar last night and when she said the words “Green Book,” I was hoping that it was another PriceWaterhouseCoopers fuck up.But Green Book really did win Best Picture. Marie Kondo, who was at the Oscars last night , should’ve grabbed Green Book before the show, declared it doesn’t spark joy and trashed it before it had a chance to win anything. Damn you, Marie! You had ONE job!Before and during awards season, Green Book got covered with shitty press after more shitty press from Viggo Mortensen casually dropping the n-word during a Q&A at a screening to screenwriter Nick Vallelonga’s anti-Muslim tweet being brought back out to Peter Farrelly apologizing for once flashing his dick at actresses and co-workers as a gag to the family of Dr. Don Shirley saying that the movie was full of lies. The Shirley family was especially pissed about how the movie claimed Dr. Don was estranged from his black family and the black community. But none of that stopped Green Book from beating Roma, which was pretty much the frontrunner.You would think that since Green Book is about Dr. Don Shirley, the filmmakers would thank him during their Best Picture speech, because if he didn’t exist, they wouldn’t have a movie or a little gold man. But they didn’t thank him, and when they were asked about that in the press room, Nick Vallelonga blamed it on nerves and said Mahershala thanked Don Shirley, who died in 2013, in his speech. Nick then dribbled out a steamy stream of HUH when asked why he didn’t talk to the Shirley family while writing the script.“Don Shirley himself told me not to speak to anyone. He told me the story he wanted to tell. He protected his private life and all the other things about him, miraculous things, he was an amazing man. He told me, if you’re going to tell the story, you tell it from your father, me, no one else, don’t speak to anyone else. ‘That’s how you have to make it. And also don’t make it until after I pass away.’ So I just kept my word to that man. I wish I could’ve reached out to Don Shirley’s family, I didn’t even know they really existed until after we were making the film. We contacted his estate for music, and then we invited them all to screenings and discussions. I personally was not allowed to speak to his family per Don Shirley’s wishes.”And here’s that mess of an explanation in moving picture form:Backstage at the #Oscars, #GreenBook's Nick Vallelonga says Don Shirley asked him not to reach out to the Shirley family: "I didn't even know they really existed until after we were making the film." https://t.co/ZuoOGuBHmV pic.twitter.com/N3gOfXcmFi— Hollywood Reporter February 25, 2019Okay, so Nick didn’t know about the existence of Dr. Don Shirley’s family until later, but yet, Dr. Don Shirley told him not to talk to them. What!? So either Nick pulled that explanation out of his ass, he’s confused in the brain, or the ghost of Dr. Don Shirley speaks to him, and if the latter is the case, then I fully expect the ghost of Dr. Don Shirley to slap at that trick for the non-thank you in the Best Picture speech. And I am surprised that Peter Farrelly didn’t try to change the subject by whipping out his dick and slapping his Oscar statue in the face with it. That may have been more interesting than the shit that Nick spewed out.Here’s all of last night’s winners.Best PictureA Star Is BornBlacKkKlansmanGreen BookRomaBlack PantherBohemian RhapsodyThe FavouriteViceBest DirectorAlfonso Cuarn, RomaSpike Lee, BlacKkKlansmanAdam McKay, ViceYorgos Lanthimos, The FavouritePawel Pawlikowski, Cold WarBest Actress in a Leading RoleGlenn Close, The WifeLady Gaga, A Star Is BornOlivia Colman, The FavouriteMelissa McCarthy, Can You Ever Forgive Me?Yalitza Aparicio, RomaBest Actor in a Leading RoleChristian Bale, ViceRami Malek, Bohemian RhapsodyBradley Cooper, A Star Is BornViggo Mortensen, Green BookWillem Dafoe, At Eternity’s GateBest Actress in a Supporting RoleRegina King, If Beale Street Could TalkAmy Adams, ViceEmma Stone, The FavouriteMarina de Tavira, RomaRachel Weisz, The FavouriteBest Actor in a Supporting RoleMahershala Ali, Green BookAdam Driver, BlacKkKlansmanRichard E. Grant, Can You Ever Forgive Me?Sam Elliott, A Star Is BornSam Rockwell, ViceBest Original Song”All the Stars” from Black Panther”I’ll Fight” from RBG”The Place Where Lost Things Go” from Mary Poppins Returns”Shallow” from A Star Is Born”When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings” from The Ballad of Buster ScruggsBest Original ScreenplayThe FavouriteFirst ReformedGreen BookRomaViceBest Adapted ScreenplayThe Ballad of Buster ScruggsBlacKkKlansmanCan You Ever Forgive Me?If Beale Street Could TalkA Star Is BornBest Original ScoreBlack PantherBlacKkKlansmanIf Beale Street Could TalkIsle of DogsMary Poppins ReturnsBest Foreign Language FilmCold WarRomaShopliftersCapernaumNever Look AwayBest Animated Feature FilmIncredibles 2Isle of DogsMiraiRalph Breaks the InternetSpider-Man: Into the Spider-VerseBest Documentary FeatureFree SoloHale County This Morning, This EveningMinding the GapOf Fathers and SonsRBGBest Makeup and HairstylingBorderMary Queen of ScotsViceBest Costume DesignBallad of Buster ScruggsBlack PantherThe FavouriteMary Poppins ReturnsMary Queen of ScotsBest Production DesignBlack PantherThe FavouriteFirst ManMary Poppins ReturnsRomaBest CinematographyCold WarThe FavouriteNever Look AwayRomaA Star Is BornBest Sound EditingBlack PantherBohemian RhapsodyFirst ManA Quiet PlaceRomaBest Sound MixingBlack PantherBohemian RhapsodyFirst ManRomaA Star Is BornBest Film EditingBlacKkKlansmanBohemian RhapsodyThe FavouriteGreen BookViceBest Animated Short FilmAnimal BehaviourBaoLate AfternoonOne Small StepWeekendsBest Documentary Short SubjectBlack SheepEnd GameLifeboatA Night at the GardenPeriod. End of Sentence.Best Visual EffectsAvengers: Infinity WarChristopher RobinFirst ManReady Player OneSolo: A Star Wars StoryBest Live Action Short FilmDetainmentFauveMotherMargueriteSkinPics: Wenn.comDlisted

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